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Humor in Information Technology.
ERP project delivery.
A ERP Project Manager is the one who thinks 9 women
can deliver a baby in 1 month.
An Onsite Coordinator is the one who thinks 1 woman can deliver 9 babies in 1
month.
A Developer is the one who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver 1 baby.
A Marketing Manager is the one who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man
and woman are available.
A Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
A Tester is the one who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.
FUNNY FAQ TO DNS HELP DESK
DNS User: Hi, this is Rekha. I can't get my CD out.
DNS Help Desk: Have you tried pushing the Button?
DNS User: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
DNS Help Desk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
DNS User: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
DNS Help Desk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
DNS User: Your left or my left?
DNS Help Desk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male DNS User: Hello... I can't print.
DNS Help Desk: Would you click on "start" for me and...
DNS User: Listen yaar; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
DNS User: Hi, good afternoon, this is Gita, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
DNS User: I have problems printing in red...
DNS Help Desk: Do you have a color printer?
DNS User: Aaaah....................thank you.
DNS Help Desk: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Female DNS User: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the mall.
DNS User: My keyboard is not working anymore.
DNS Help Desk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
DNS User: No. I can't get behind the computer.
DNS Help Desk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
DNS Help Desk: Did the keyboard come with you?
DNS Help Desk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
DNS User: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
DNS Help Desk: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
DNS User: Is that 7 in capital letters?
DNS User: I can't get on the Internet.
DNS Help Desk: Are you sure you used the right password?
DNS User: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
DNS Help Desk: Can you tell me what the password was?
DNS Help Desk: What anti-virus program do you use?
DNS Help Desk: That's not an anti-virus program.
DNS User: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
DNS User: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
DNS Help Desk: How may I help you?
DNS User: I'm writing my first e-mail.
DNS Help Desk: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
DNS User: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
DNS Help Desk: "Okay Ramu, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"
DNS User: I don't have a P.
DNS Help Desk: On your keyboard, Ramu.
DNS User: What do you mean?
DNS Help Desk: "P"...on your keyboard, Ramu.
DNS User: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
A woman DNS User called the help desk with a problem with her printer.
DNS Help Desk: Are you running it under Windows?
DNS User: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
Shyam sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
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Never marry a Testing
girl since she always doubts U.
Never marry
a DATABASE
girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry
a C
girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the
things and EXIT from house.
Never marry
a C++
girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry
a JAVA
girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry
a VB
girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry
a
UNIX
girl ,she always dump u with a core.
Never marry
a PASCAL
girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.
Never marry
a COBOL
girl since she may be very good in DIVISION
of families.
Never marry
a NETWORK
girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles. |
HELP
DESK HUMOR - Right click:
Tech
Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer:
"Ok."
Tech
Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer:
"No."
Tech
Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer:
"No."
Tech
Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?"
Customer:
"Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click'."
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TITANIC
& WINDOWS
Bill
Gates dies and goes to heaven, where Saint Peter gives him a smart two-bedroom
house with a pretty garden and a tennis court. Pleased with his lot, Bill
quickly settles into the afterlife. One day he is out walking when the
bumps into a man wearing a fine, tailored suit.
“That’s
really nice,” says Bill. “Where did you get it”? “Actually,”
says the man, “I was given 50 of these, plus two mansions, a yacht, a golf
course and four Rolls Royces.”
“Wow,
were you a priest or a doctor healing the sick?” asks Bill. “No. I was
the captain of the Titanic.”
Bill
storms off to see Saint Peter. “How come the captain of a sunken ship gets all
the while I, the inventor of the Windows operating system, get a crummy little
house?” he asks.
“We
use Windows too,” says Saint Peter. “And the Titanic only crashed once.”
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